Her Sacred Status

by Richard McGraw

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about

The first record by Richard McGraw.

"Bob Dylan without the politics; A less stoic Leonard Cohen; Billy Joel minus the bull; Cat Stevens without dogmatic leanings; Neil Young without the bad albums; Bruce Springsteen without socialism; Neil Diamond without cheese; Good atheism wraped in clever folk."
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released July 11, 2001

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Richard McGraw New York, New York

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Track Name: Judas Disguise
I’m still holding your Judas Disguise
And my will is still weakened by those Hollywood thighs
And I feel deprived
Because it’s still the old powerful god that lies
Below below
And all their Christian souls
I don’t even know

Still waiting for
A renewal in my world
Hoping that you’d return cause these Christian girls burn
And they burn and they burn all my skill
Now my will is as weak as a five-dollar bill
And I’m sold
I’m sold
And all their Christian souls
I don’t even know
I don’t even know
Ah, ah

I am willing to compromise
If I could taste your humble lies
I’d fall short again of a happy life
In this hell filled with husbands and brides

I am willing to compromise
If I could taste your humble lies
Your body is trained for the things I lack
The valley of hope is the arch in your back
Track Name: Leaving You Forever
If I crashed into your market place
with my solitary slur
All the meaning I could not pronounce
you would have to infer
Now I’m leaving you forever
And I’ll make sure not to fly
And if I do it wont be over your sky

There’s a lifetime I would wait for you
if I thought it would be a cure
But as I look inside my crystal ball
I’m never quite that sure
There is no certainty in these games I play
There’s no hope that I can keep
There are only last summers dreams
and they just put me to sleep

Hope and you
And some foolish school of thought
I brought myself into
You and the wicked man who weighs down on my mind
So this is what you’ve done with your time

And every time that I would kill for you
I have to take them back
Cause with you tied to my heart like that
I could have a heart attack

You can blame me for this weakness
And can blame you for my disease
‘Cause you left the door open way too long
and now I’m suffering from the breeze

So say goodbye by to the ties
Where all my passion lies
Say good-bye to the ghosts you call men
I call ghosts
And you can tell them that I was kind
So this is what you’ve done with your time
So this is what you’ve done with your time
So this is what you’ve done with your time
Track Name: Sidetracked
I get so sidetracked
So many things to do and be, be
Step back
And look at all the problems in me
Inside of me

I know what I want and I know what I need
But what I want is killing me

Have you ever seen the wind blow so hard?
I knew the guard he opened the gates for me
Only to see the problems inside of me
So over whelming yes, so overwhelming yes

But I wont consume your quantities
Cause what I want is killing me
I know what I want and I know what I need
But what I want is killing me

And you know it’s killing me
Re, reality
Re, re, reality
And she just don’t want me

Have you ever seen a man work so hard at doing nothing?
Well, you can say that man might be me
It just might be me
Have you ever see the wind blow so hard?
I knew the guard; he opened the gates for free
Didn’t cost me nothing, didn’t cost me nothing
No nothing
But nothing is free

And I won’t consume your quantities
Cause what I want is killing me
I know what I want and I know what I need
But what I want is killing me, killing me,
Killing me
Track Name: A Poem/confession
I hope I didn’t punish you in the name of some justice
Those whip and chain instructions should be written for me
I told you of my limits, the lines you kept crossing
But you tried not to care much for those any way

And I’ve been falling back on old ways
just to make it through my day

And the self I once esteemed is weaker then these dreams
These fantasies and memories of things you can’t share
I told you of my limits, the limits I kept secret
They make me look so poor when I need you so badly

I never did see you on my last visit.
I dropped off the summons; the laws we had broken
I couldn’t take what’s tragic. Tragedy is fire.
I said I’ll take you in parts, well part of me is a liar

And the strings and the ties I placed in the summons
You saw right through those whip and chain lies
The string made of leather, the metal in my motives
Now you’ve seen what I can be in the worst kind of way

And now that you’ve seen the worst that I can become
Do you abhor the devil I deal with?
He doesn’t hate you. He speaks quite well of you;
He confessed his emptiness; I think he still wants you.

And there are parts of you he’d love to take with him to his grave
Does that turn you off?
And there are parts of you he’d love to come to terms with for years to come.
Does that turn you on?
Does that turn you on his working in vain, all of his working in pain in his armor of pain?
In which he is rotting, you see, he can’t be subtle any more.

I never spoke of innocence.
I never laughed at your pain.
I knew all along what you needed to do.
You took care of business. You marched past my limits.
Now I love your decisions in a militant way.

I spoke to your father, he never satisfied you.
He didn’t satisfy me, I saw right through him.
I couldn’t take what’s tragic. Tragedy is fire
I said I take you in parts, Well part of me is a liar

And there are parts of you
I’d love to take with me to my grave
Does that turn you off?
And there are parts of you
I’d love to come to terms with for years to come
Tell me, "Does that turn you on?"
Does that turn you on, my working in vain,
all my working in pain, in my armor of pain
For which I am rotting in,
see I can’t be subtle any more.
Can I turn you on with this working in vain with my working in pain in my armor of pain?
For which I am rotting in,
see I can’t be subtle any more.
Track Name: The Currency of Labor and Demand
Mrs. Stogal, I think your tea is ready.
It has been boiling for quite a while now,
and the women across the street, well
they look pretty good to me.
Oh they look pretty good to me.
I think I’ll wipe my feet on their mat
to see how far I can take that.

Last nights scene was a wonderful thing.
She wore patches and tears of what she always wears.
"This is where my pain resides", I said. She said,
"this is were my pain resides".
And it starts with a man
whose fashion and his plans
have grown apart for me for a while
and I feel I’m growing out of style.

Oh, Mrs. Stogal, you better take what you can.
You know he’s only a man.
He’s not the currency of your labor and demand.

When I was a boy and she was a queen
she lived in dreams that I could only dream of.
She had everything that royalty could bring.
When I was a man, she was the same
without the king and castle that came
with the rights of his love,
plea-bargained to small talk without shelter.

Mrs. Stogal, if you don’t mind,
I’ll tell you the time with a look,
and with some words you haven’t heard,
I can finish the saddest chapter in our small book.

Chapter 5 would have stayed alive for a year or two
like something new, like every other scene,
but that’s our favorite thing now ain't that Mrs. Stogal.
I know that you’ve got the time and you’ve got your plans, and I have my tired hands
to cut away these needs and fears for another year.

Miss Stogal, you know I have to go now.
Your meat is on the market,
and I feel like such a butcher,
and I’m hungrier then these rivals
and these rivals they are not my friends.
Track Name: These Wholes in My Body On South Street
If I knew where to go
And if I knew how to get there
I met your lover on Friday night
He was wearing gold and silver
"So this is the lucky man", I thought
"Well what does that make me?"
And what would that make you my love
Probably more then you would care to be

And if we can’t see eye to eye
I can always kneel on this floor of mine
And pray to the god you claimed that never came
And watch you walk right out of this life of mine

I broke up a fight on Saturday
Those memories vs. me on South Street
Thoughts of the past came to kick my ass
And left me bleeding on the concrete
You can see these scars and these wounds up close
These wholes in my body on South Street
It’s your microscope and all the things
you couldn’t cope with
That are my enemies
at least they seem to be

And if you never come alive
You can always kneel on this floor of mine
And pray for the man you claim ran away
And I can play that role I can read his lines

And if your waters weren’t made for my tread
Then what’s possible could never give hell
Is it the loss or the longing to which I am belonging
that has kept you alive and well?
"This is not the time nor the place", you said,
"for picking up pieces like me."
But I forgot that I was a junk man
with holes in my hands
When I held those pieces close to me

And if you never change your mind
I can always work on these lines of mine
And I’ll use them on the local girls
And they can keep me shallow they can help you die
And if I never turn out fine
Well I can always kneel on this floor of mine
And pray to the god you claim that never came and
He can keep me shallow he can help you die
He can keep me shallow he can help you die
He can keep me shallow he can help you die
Track Name: Newburgh
There ‘s nothing to do in my town
You can sit around and get drunk all the time
Lazy or hard working I’m a jerk in disguise
Telling my lies, living my lies beneath my disguise

There’s nothing to do in my town
You can sit around and smoke all night
And I know a kid where smoking is his only life
Every time he lights up he says, "this is my life".

And all of my friends need women
to make them feel good
I myself can use anything you got
so give it here to me

I make them laugh I make them cry
I don’t know why
And I’m trying to quit
but it’s the same old shit
You here all the time
And I know a kid where crying is his only life
Every time he crys he says, "this is my life".

And all of m friends need something
to make them feel good
I myself could use a woman right now,
yeh, I myself could use a woman right now

My friend told me about the girl he had last night
And I’m thinking he shouldn’t say that about her,
that aint right.
But he’s trying to quit
and it’s the same old shit you hear all the time
And I know a girl where feeling guilty is her life
You know when she sins,
she confesses and this is her life
And then she goes to the booth
and says, "Hey father, this is my life,
You know I’m trying to quit but it’s the same old shit you here all the time."

And all of my friends need something, yeh
And all I need is anything.
Track Name: Following Love
Cannot find the company to keep this heart alive
Its standards and requirements are of the strictest kind
and the local girls resistance
Does not help me with my efforts
In fact I think they’re here to torture me tonight

And it’s a fine night for torture
I’ll supply the weapons
Like these old high school tools
that tell me that I need her
And these phone book treatments
that tell me not to call her anymore

And all of my friends are rock star scholars
and they all seem to agree
That there is no love or comfort
in the presence of plain company
And though I question their intentions
and their claims to be scholarly
Their half-truths ring like fool truths to me

And if I seem dissatisfied with
Mrs. Read-Between-The-Lines
She’s number 45 or so
Numbers are labels they’re given by angels
And that’s not a blessing
No, that’s not a blessing in disguise
And these old high school tools
that tell me that I need her
And these foot ball buddies that tell me to go get her
And the oldest of men in me, he speaks to angelic beings
He asks her, "Is it worth the effort?"

And the time I’ll spend alone
With a woman I cannot see
Can be chalked up to the youngest
or the oldest of men in me
And though I despise my coming to
and or falling on these notions
The knife that stabs stings of her perfection

Cause she was close enough to perfection
You can check the records
She was not 17
She was not hanging off grocery store machines
Clients they will come and go
Of their own volition

And these old high school tools
that tell me that I need her
And these phone book treatments
that tell me not to call
And the consummate practitioner
tells me that I miss her
And I should
Track Name: The Golden Crucifix Vs. the Weight Complexity
I was born with the Jesus Christ yelling in my ear
The holy things in my ear ring to help a good man steer
Years when I’d steer severe with all my fathers’ sins covering my ears

Covering my ears
Is this what Jesus fears?

And with your cross glossed gold or silver
Choose your simple means
And with the weight complexity removed from your shoulders it seems to me
That if I point to your grays you’ll know what hardship means

Covering your eyes
Is this were Jesus lies?

And his he surprised by all his numbers
painting without colors
and all of the emblem-wearing victims
holding to their villains?

Enemies surprised
by the painting style severe to which you do adhere
Just the way your father steered when he was of your years you played him to a T
But now every hair turned gray is asking, "who is it you should be?"

Now that you have your shoulds, tell me
Who is it you should be?
Track Name: The Wealth of My Position
The grains that you offer me
are few and far between they’re
numbers on the walls that I’ve stopped counting
and even though I’ve turned my head
I know it’s still your evening
and all of my employees know you’re leaving

The grains that you gave to me,
they couldn’t feed a family like my
Workers have revolted and retreated
And it’s a protest to hopelessness;
it’s a typical response I guess
I find myself in their picket line quite often

And while the mystery remains
it only teases with its pain
Concerning the wealth of my position
Maybe you’re the mystic with the flower in you hand
And your confusion is like parables like riddles when I
Proceed to comprehend in vein

When Time was the doctor, God the nurse and I the patient, they were
Slow and incapable in caring for there patients, because in their time of need
They would just watch them
So I said, "I think they need a new occupation".

And all the memories that I’ve saved and all the distinctions that I’ve made
To assure me of the wealth of my position
And the ever-present mystic with the flower in her hand
Downplays all my fondest of memories
Dulls oh the sharpest of distinctions
For they don’t keep me wealthy
They don’t keep me feeling wealthy
They don’t keep me feeling whole

And the time that you gave away
like gifts on Christmas holiday they
Make you out to be just like Saint Nick
But you were never that jolly and pardon the honesty
I’d like to trade them in for something else
Track Name: No More
You know I cannot break
Promises I make to myself
To suffer like an animal without control
Is no longer a virtue that I hold to be true
Not for me not for you

No more, no more

Yes I must confess
On a scale of worst to best I think that we
Never really took that test to see
Why worst is for the rest and not for you and I
Not for me
No more, no more

No more, no more
not for me, no more

And I will not speak of lies
Or write another broken hearted line
Because I never lost something I could not find
And if something is broken
well at least I know that something is mine
and if I haven’t found it yet then give me time
just give me some
that’s all I need is some more
Track Name: Prophet Song
When I’m a prophet,
I might let you in
to the circle I’ve started of women and men.
But you’ll have to wait on line.
These gifts that I give are not mine.

And after I’ve prophesized
you’ll want to sleep next to me
with those cold and wooden thighs
you polished for the orgy
But you’ll have to wait on line
like the rest of them
I cannot service all at one time.

When inspiration is not divine,
you’ll become an addict of a certain kind.
And when your inspiration just doesn’t fall through,
I might not be there to save you.

And after the sun falls the orgy begins
and with my five and dime scissors I’ll cut the ribbon,
a commencement
for every graduating disciple entering my discipline.
With my five and dime scissors, my cape and my crown
and the cane that I’ll use to point to the crowd
I will point you out,
but merely as a reference a punch line to pain I once thought was mine

My inspiration was not divine
and I became an addict of a certain kind
And when my inspiration just didn’t fall through,
tell me, where the hell were you?

And you’ll sigh in the fashion of your Mary Magdalene,
while you search for the Jesus you know you can’t win
You know you can’t win, with me in my purity and you in your sin
Yes with me in my purity and you in your sin
you will search for the Jesus you know you can’t win

But you’ll have to wait on line.
Just consider me the holiest of deli counters
You’ll have to take a number
yes one after another
you’ll have to wait on line.

When I’m a prophet I might let you into
the circle I’ve started of women and men
Track Name: Sympathy for the Pervert
There’s no love for the man
With the cock in his hand as he
Baths in the light of a girl
Such a simple world

There’s no love in the hearts
Of her beautiful parts as they
Find and accord with my tastes
Such a painful place